Zenah for King of The World

First of all, happy new year to you all. Especially to those who are “positive” and “optimistic” because I think they’re the only ones who TRULY believe that they can “make it” happy. You guys are lucky.

But for those of you who are skeptical about the world and its dynamics, and can afford a little pessimism at the start of the year, here is a rant for you:

In the new year, I would like us, the employed, to refuse corporate slavery. The system of this world is taking a wrong turn, and we seem to be too engrossed in being too annoyed all the time, that we BELIEVE that this is how life should be: annoying. However, look around you, and you will notice that the world is not meant to be annoying. There’s a happy sun, a caring moon, chirping birds, colors, and smells. There is a reason there is a literary beauty to these things, which as corporate slaves, living between four walls (or even two half walls if you have a cubicle), we are deprived off.

With full realization that what I’m about to throw out there isn’t simple (yes, Captain Obvious, spare us), I am going to express how I imagine how things should run in my head.  I repeat: IN MY HEAD.

You guys know that the life we live was at a rise, and we have reached the climax, and now we are at the downfall. So in order to cushion the blow, this is what I would do if I were to become the king of the world:

1)  The world should be based on merit and potential. Meaning, one should get to places because one truly EARNED it and not because one had financial abilities. Those who are in poorer countries should at least get ONE opportunity to fulfill their potential. No one is born a janitor, or a laborer, they just were not presented by an opportunity to fulfill their utmost potential. Meaning, better nurturing opportunities will be presented.

2) No job will be beneath anyone. Every living individual will have to work two months out of their year in a physically laborious job. Because a. Soft hands aren’t attractive, and b. people need to have more appreciation for things they take for granted. Those who are already working on physically laborious jobs will be given the abovementioned opportunities to achieve their utmost potential the rest of the time.

3) Which brings me to the element of time. No living individual should work for 9 hours, and spend two hours on average commuting. That’s just preposterous. You work for 9 hours, an hour at best commuting back and forth, and an hour getting ready for work. Those are 11 hours of your day wasted. Out of the remaining 13, you will sleep for 7, giving you five hours to do whatever you want. AND FIVE HOURS AFTER WHAT? After continuous mind strain and endless cacophony. Therefore, work hours should be reduced to 6 hours a day. And they should start at 6 AM and end at 12 PM. Why? Because at 12 PM you have time in the day to do stuff. Deadlines CAN wait. 

4) Kids and parents will finish work and school at the same time. It is such bullshit that parents and kids start their day cycle at different timings and barely coincide in the above-mentioned five hours.

5) There should be a maximum amount of income. Enough for living COMFORTABLY, but not enough for luxury. No, nobody needs a Bottega Vaneta bag, or a Porsche or whatever.

 6) The notion of nations will be dropped. Personal contributions to society need to give appreciation for the contributing individual, and not flaunted as a social/national accomplishment. i.e: if a German guy invents the cure for cancer, it’s not pride for Germany. It’s just pride for the individual. (of course considering at this point in time things will have become better for other people who have been given opportunities to achieve their potential)

Now I'm not a political expert. And I'm not sure if this is quite socialism, or democratic socialism, or anti-imperialism. Big words you guys. But what I do know is that this sounds like it is impossible to achieve but I think that just like there were enough tools to create dynamics that that are just so rightfully wrong, there are tools that make them rightfully right. (This is philosophically open to a debate which I welcome. I love arguing about the notions of right and wrong). However, when we reach a consensus, I think there is a way. I have developed a sense from the course of my study that there are a lot of mathematical and statistical models that can be implemented to make better decisions and allocations! As king of the world: MY AIM IS TO BUILD AN OPTIMIZATION FUNCTION FOR THIS WORLD AND SOLVE IT. My fellow engineers, let’s stop working for the wrong people, and embark with me on this journey to lead mankind to its salvation. Plus, wasn't everything in this world an arguably ridiculous idea just like this one, which got blown out of proportion?

Alright. This rant was brought to you by I-had-to-work-two-hours-on-my-day-off and it is now over.