Happy Memory

You guys wanna know a happy memory?

When I was around 10, I had a neighbor my age in Amman. She was Swedish, and her name was Andrea. I once decided that since we have two sunbeds on our roof, we should probably make them beds, and start sleeping there. And we did.

We used to have these blankets that would wrap around you with a zipper. The kind mostly used in camping. The nice thing about Amman is you'd see the stars and the moon clearly, and sometimes the sky would somehow turn pinkish/orangish (I dunno what this phenomenon is, but it occurs). And Andrea and I would find it so amusing, and start theorizing that maybe it's the end of the world, or some monsters are gonna come.

I'm sure I learnt new viewpoints from her but I don't remember. She was actually my first foreign friend. She told me all about how her parents are divorced and how she had a crush on a boy. And I haven't really heard stories like that from the kids around me in school. Such phenomena were still alien.

I honestly don't know how I remembered this, but it was actually cute, and thought I'd blurt it out.

Must I grow up?

I admitted something about myself to myself today. I don’t like getting attached to things because I never get over them. If something enters my life, that’s it. Even if IT decides to exit, I still hold it dear to my heart. Even if I don’t interact with it, ever again.

We had our final senior year design presentation today, which marks the end of my four years in the school of engineering. It hit me right after the presentation (I did great for those of you who are wondering, or would like to see me revel in myself, whatever) that I’m leaving behind what could possibly be the best years of my life. And according to legend, they are. Everything just flashed in my head like a series of Christmas lights on a tree as I drove back home. The first year was kinda horrible because well, long story. Maybe later. But the rest went great. I met the kindest people, the smartest people, and the stupidest people who helped me improve my skills in mockery and sarcasm. I learnt a lot. I became a better writer, a better speaker, a better thinker. I lost, and I won. And I made good bad decisions. The best nights were spent supposedly studying in the engineering lab, and I’d turn them into karaoke nights. We’d sing, laugh, until we’re in tears. Steal doughnuts at 4 AM, then feel bad about it and go pay for them in the morning. We’d just stay up helping each other even if some of us didn’t have work for themselves. 

We literally just lived in AUD for the past 4 years. Some of us even brought suit cases and moved in E101, our infamous Engineering lab. Nights and days would just be spent discussing the definition of right and wrong, the philosophical view points of what life is, argue about who’s gonna be successful or not all as we dip chicken pieces in the purple sauce, from Texas Chicken in the Meadows’ Enoc petrol station, at 3 AM.

At points we hoped engineering would die, and we broke down. We crashed into concerts in Media City that were almost playing on campus anyway, and well, they were right there, and we had nothing to lose.

I can still go on and on. But let me sum it up by saying I just loved it. I loved the days. I loved the nights. I love my engineering friends. And my teachers. The buildings. The memories.

But the silver lining lies in the fact that the next thing that comes along, might as well be something that I won’t like getting attached to. But I will anyway.  And its memory will cause my heart to smile for the fact that it made me happy one day.

Live hard. Ease life.

My major beef with humans is this: they love everything easy. In everything. In anything.

It’s so easy to complain. They do it. It’s so easy to say something is hard, so they avoid doing it. Basically, nobody appreciates the fact that being hard on yourself now is going to make things easier later. But when, exactly, is later?

Today, was “The Annual Wooden Bridge Competition”. An event that our school hosts every year. It’s self explanatory really. Civil engineering schools from across the UAE build bridges; we load them, the one that carries the most, wins.

Unfortunately, I was the one in charge of the whole thing because accidentally, on purpose, I’m the president of the student association. Not fun, or cool, or smart, I assure you.

I was basically the punching bag of 25 participating teams. 6 members per team, on average. The caterer. The trophy guy. The wood guy. The certificates guy. Anyone today was basically Aladdin, and I was the possessed carpet everyone was stepping all over.

EVERYONE was just complaining. They lose, they win, inevitably, they complain. What bothered me the most is the word “unfair”. How easily people just throw it out there. I can’t begin to describe how infuriating this word is. Simply because it’s the easiest way out of a situation. Not quantifiable. Not tangible. An absolutely preposterous word.

Yet, everyone uses it as if it is a solid argument, because it is after all, easy. You can argue that your whole existence, the very core of your being, is unfair. Can’t you argue that it’s unfair that the choice you’re on this Earth isn’t yours? Can’t you argue that it’s unfair you have no control of when this same life will be taken away from you?

But in this situation, people just accept that it happens. Because it’s easier to accept its reality, rather than to ponder the complexity of it.

But the truth of the matter is that, the previous questions were nowhere close as to how simple the little trifles everyone today was complaining about are. If some of the yappers knew the technical background of some things, they’d realize the thing they were arguing was unfair, was actually fair. But it’s easier to want to win, than admit they lost because they didn’t know something. If they had explored their surroundings a little to realize how futile their “it’s unfair” argument is, they might have had a chance to accept they were wrong. But again, admitting you’re wrong isn’t easy.

But life is easy. Work is easy. Love is easy. Our mistake is that we over simplify them, until we discover they are hard. If only we do it the other way around. Accept that they are hard. The easiness lies in the complexity. They’re simultaneous. When we discipline ourselves to do something on the basis that it isn’t easy…… Well, it becomes easy.